“Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child.”
— Tina Brown
“Really, Dude?” would be the newest phrase that has been uttered in our household. Whether it’s because he spit up on his outfit we just changed him into, sprayed a fountain of pee all over himself (and me, the wall, in his bath water…), or passing gas in Chris’s lap like it’s going out of style, this seems to be the most appropriate response. But then there are all the other special moments in between the “Really, Dude?”s. The ones where I just watch him sleeping so preciously. When he grabs hold of my shirt while I’m cuddling him. The little smile he gives, even if it’s on accident. These moments make all those other ones worth while. There was one night we had friends over to watch a movie. B was incredibly fussy for some reason. I ended up holding him and rocking him and missing 80% of the movie. But somehow I didn’t mind. This motherhood feeling really takes over and the things that used to matter don’t seem as important anymore.
Being a mom is not something you can really prepare for. And thank goodness for that, because I did not feel prepared at all! I don’t do babies. Never have. But being with B and taking care of him, it’s surreal. I am so thankful to God that he provides this amazing relationship and bond that comes with these perfect instincts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making this sound like it’s all a fairy tale. I’ve been overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted, and incredibly emotional over our past four week with B (four weeks, what?!). However, all those lows come with the highs. It’s cliche, but I really wonder how my life ever felt complete without him. He takes up a special place in my heart that only he can occupy.
This Tina Brown quote said it best. Seeing Chris as a dad has made my love for him transform. He is a perfect father. He’s already talking up his baseball skills and working out his legs and arms. He may get peed on 8/10 times he changes the diaper, but he is still happy to do it. He’s patient. Loving. Tender. I know that he and B will have great times together.
I’ve also got to take a moment to shout out to our amazing family who has been a gigantic help. I have the utmost respect for single parents, because I don’t know what I would do without being able to call one of B’s grandparents or great-grandparents for some help! Some days I just need some extra Z’s, and I know they’ll help make sure that happens. Thanks for all you do for us and B! We are truly blessed.